Art Theory - S2 week 1 - 8/07/2019
Decisive moments
The biggest connection between all the artist, is a lot of their work is personal and is a lot of impulse on to be understood or a desire to communicate something they see in their head or seen. though no matter how many times we communicate it it doesn't seem to e enough or get across. Or it seems to be a need to fulfill a dieresis of some sort or an understanding. An understanding in what they see or think, or it is a response to something that has happened to them or around them.
What is the desire? Artist don't just make art because they want to or want to make something pretty. There is always a why?
What is my why? what an I responding to or answering? what is my desire?
I wounder if It is a desire to understand the questions I have, like why is the women body so censored? why can't the body just be seen as it is? it also a desire to understand beauty strands and why women are so pressured to be so conformed. Is it a response to being told no? I can't wear things with out being labeled as a slut? it is a desire to be what I am painting? I am allowed to be who I am through a painting but not in my every day life? Is it a wish fulfillment?
This makes me very curious on why I paint what I do?
As something I noticed is that the reasons why artist to their thing is an experience they have had weather it is as a kid or they why they where brought out. Though it is always a experience they have had that stuck with them.
Another thing I thought about is, the question of who I am? and the desire to understand who I am as a person and the fair of never being understood and art is the way to express what is going in my head that others can't see nor understand. The desire to be known and fully understand not seen as a 2D and seen as 3D.
Response to being told no and social conforming, of gender, sexuality and social/political roles.
who's social moralize? culture? somewhere els in the world or all over?
Is it personal?
Pole back from political or social?
mockery vs comfort vs deprived
social media culture.
Social, generation, political, gender, sexuality an religious difference
All these things creates the way people are viewed.
Viewership is a key point in this argument.
Though I think sexuality is just as important, as my painting has a lot to do with expressing sexuality and self empowerment.
Artist just don't make things because they can or to make things pretty.
I make art to be different, to give myself and others a voice when they can not. To push social/political standards and to say its ok to be different and love yourself for being different.
I want to expand this project to a project about identity and being comfortable with being yourself with out having to conform to others standards or needs.
That has shown how far the project has coming from the beginning to how it has develop of this idea of identity and self comfort. It was a project originally being about,
"“Pinup Girls” is a style that is more famously known during WWII, where they were used as an everyday advertisement to either recruit men for war or to sell insurance for war or selling the “ideal” stay at home wife with a teasing and flirtatious appearance. With this concept, I wish to develop the idea of “Sex sells”,"
I has develop and being deconstructed in a way that is to find the means behind what I am doing and the motivation, what inspires me to paint and do what I do.
As I do consider myself as an equalitist rather than a feminist, which I found interesting what I was looking back on my reason and development. I wanted to question the meaning of being a feminist and how it has changed to what it as known as in this generation perceptive.
It was also apparent that a large portion of my study was about Gazes, and how I was portraying myself and why I was portraying myself in a way. Questioning the line between nude and naked, what did it mean to be nude or naked. what it meant to cater to the gaze and how could I challenge it.
It was also apparent to me was that I was constantly challenging the gaze and questioning what is the male gaze? and what is the female gaze? what does it mean to cater to a gaze? why is the gaze a thing?
I was aggressively trying to find my own answer to a much larger out of proportion question about the gaze that was never ending. Only to not find an answer but to find more things about myself as a artist rather than finding an answer to a question, which I found more satisfying in a way. As it showed me what I really wanted to find from my painting.
Was my painting really just looking into "self portrait, provocativeness, statement" was it something more? was it more personal than what I wanted to believe. AS it wasn't apparent at first, it wasn't until I had finished the painting and it was up and displaying It become to realization that this painting was about me and who I was as a person and what I stood for.
I stood for equality between the sex's, gender, identities and races. I wanted to create a voice for someone who didn't have a voice even if it was myself. I had a lot of personal struggles through out the time of this painting, a lot of mental health struggles and identity struggles. Which reflected well through this painting, as it was apparent in the painting that was was discontented to my body by how much detail and effort I had put into the face and no effort into the body, though the flower was quite detailed. As I look at it now as an after through, it shows how I don't want to be seen for my body I want people to look me into my eyes and see me for me not for what I am wearing or how I present my body I want people to see me as me. You can also see in the painting my body it importunate and exaggerated in areas, this is related to the body dysmorphia I have with my body, as body dysmorphia is a part of having any type of eating disorder which I am recovering in and openly talk about to help bring awareness to it.
This is important part of my painting as it forced me to look at myself as how I see myself but also how others see me. I don't and can't see myself the way others see me because of my body dysmorphia and I think that is interesting and could be the reason why I am so interested with the gaze.
This is where a lot of people don't understand the painting or why I did my painting. My painting was more of a self journey to find more about myself and how I see myself vs how others see me. What it means to be myself and what it means to be a women.
As after seeing Jacqueline Fahey, Final domestic expose – I paint myself, it inspired me in a way I never have been before. As it questioned what I have been questioning this whole time.
What does it mean to be a women?
A question in identity, sexuality, political and social sautes.
It could also be the reason why I was attracted to Nimisha Bhanot and Erin M. Riley's works, as they also question the same things.
Hélène Cixous and Jill Soloway also talk about this in their book speech which I find interesting.
This only isn't an art piece that forces the questioning of the gazes, but it is also an artist personal journey.
So what now?
Where do I go from here?
Do I keep developing this question? or what I have found? do I branch off? or do I leave it?
Am I satisfied with what I found out? even thought I was left unsatisfied with my painting because I Wanted to question more?
What can I develop more? what can still be interrogated?
Where can I go for more research?
Where can I go with more research?
What do I research? and how do I go about this researching?
What are theorist/practitioners have done what I have done?
What art theorist have further question have I done or are doing?
What is the main key question or idea have I been pondering on?
The biggest connection between all the artist, is a lot of their work is personal and is a lot of impulse on to be understood or a desire to communicate something they see in their head or seen. though no matter how many times we communicate it it doesn't seem to e enough or get across. Or it seems to be a need to fulfill a dieresis of some sort or an understanding. An understanding in what they see or think, or it is a response to something that has happened to them or around them.
What is the desire? Artist don't just make art because they want to or want to make something pretty. There is always a why?
What is my why? what an I responding to or answering? what is my desire?
I wounder if It is a desire to understand the questions I have, like why is the women body so censored? why can't the body just be seen as it is? it also a desire to understand beauty strands and why women are so pressured to be so conformed. Is it a response to being told no? I can't wear things with out being labeled as a slut? it is a desire to be what I am painting? I am allowed to be who I am through a painting but not in my every day life? Is it a wish fulfillment?
This makes me very curious on why I paint what I do?
As something I noticed is that the reasons why artist to their thing is an experience they have had weather it is as a kid or they why they where brought out. Though it is always a experience they have had that stuck with them.
Another thing I thought about is, the question of who I am? and the desire to understand who I am as a person and the fair of never being understood and art is the way to express what is going in my head that others can't see nor understand. The desire to be known and fully understand not seen as a 2D and seen as 3D.
Response to being told no and social conforming, of gender, sexuality and social/political roles.
who's social moralize? culture? somewhere els in the world or all over?
Is it personal?
Pole back from political or social?
mockery vs comfort vs deprived
social media culture.
Social, generation, political, gender, sexuality an religious difference
All these things creates the way people are viewed.
Viewership is a key point in this argument.
Though I think sexuality is just as important, as my painting has a lot to do with expressing sexuality and self empowerment.
Artist just don't make things because they can or to make things pretty.
I make art to be different, to give myself and others a voice when they can not. To push social/political standards and to say its ok to be different and love yourself for being different.
I want to expand this project to a project about identity and being comfortable with being yourself with out having to conform to others standards or needs.
That has shown how far the project has coming from the beginning to how it has develop of this idea of identity and self comfort. It was a project originally being about,
"“Pinup Girls” is a style that is more famously known during WWII, where they were used as an everyday advertisement to either recruit men for war or to sell insurance for war or selling the “ideal” stay at home wife with a teasing and flirtatious appearance. With this concept, I wish to develop the idea of “Sex sells”,"
I has develop and being deconstructed in a way that is to find the means behind what I am doing and the motivation, what inspires me to paint and do what I do.
As I do consider myself as an equalitist rather than a feminist, which I found interesting what I was looking back on my reason and development. I wanted to question the meaning of being a feminist and how it has changed to what it as known as in this generation perceptive.
It was also apparent that a large portion of my study was about Gazes, and how I was portraying myself and why I was portraying myself in a way. Questioning the line between nude and naked, what did it mean to be nude or naked. what it meant to cater to the gaze and how could I challenge it.
It was also apparent to me was that I was constantly challenging the gaze and questioning what is the male gaze? and what is the female gaze? what does it mean to cater to a gaze? why is the gaze a thing?
I was aggressively trying to find my own answer to a much larger out of proportion question about the gaze that was never ending. Only to not find an answer but to find more things about myself as a artist rather than finding an answer to a question, which I found more satisfying in a way. As it showed me what I really wanted to find from my painting.
Was my painting really just looking into "self portrait, provocativeness, statement" was it something more? was it more personal than what I wanted to believe. AS it wasn't apparent at first, it wasn't until I had finished the painting and it was up and displaying It become to realization that this painting was about me and who I was as a person and what I stood for.
I stood for equality between the sex's, gender, identities and races. I wanted to create a voice for someone who didn't have a voice even if it was myself. I had a lot of personal struggles through out the time of this painting, a lot of mental health struggles and identity struggles. Which reflected well through this painting, as it was apparent in the painting that was was discontented to my body by how much detail and effort I had put into the face and no effort into the body, though the flower was quite detailed. As I look at it now as an after through, it shows how I don't want to be seen for my body I want people to look me into my eyes and see me for me not for what I am wearing or how I present my body I want people to see me as me. You can also see in the painting my body it importunate and exaggerated in areas, this is related to the body dysmorphia I have with my body, as body dysmorphia is a part of having any type of eating disorder which I am recovering in and openly talk about to help bring awareness to it.
This is important part of my painting as it forced me to look at myself as how I see myself but also how others see me. I don't and can't see myself the way others see me because of my body dysmorphia and I think that is interesting and could be the reason why I am so interested with the gaze.
This is where a lot of people don't understand the painting or why I did my painting. My painting was more of a self journey to find more about myself and how I see myself vs how others see me. What it means to be myself and what it means to be a women.
As after seeing Jacqueline Fahey, Final domestic expose – I paint myself, it inspired me in a way I never have been before. As it questioned what I have been questioning this whole time.
What does it mean to be a women?
A question in identity, sexuality, political and social sautes.
It could also be the reason why I was attracted to Nimisha Bhanot and Erin M. Riley's works, as they also question the same things.
Hélène Cixous and Jill Soloway also talk about this in their book speech which I find interesting.
This only isn't an art piece that forces the questioning of the gazes, but it is also an artist personal journey.
So what now?
Where do I go from here?
Do I keep developing this question? or what I have found? do I branch off? or do I leave it?
Am I satisfied with what I found out? even thought I was left unsatisfied with my painting because I Wanted to question more?
What can I develop more? what can still be interrogated?
Where can I go for more research?
Where can I go with more research?
What do I research? and how do I go about this researching?
What are theorist/practitioners have done what I have done?
What art theorist have further question have I done or are doing?
What is the main key question or idea have I been pondering on?
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